Cyclic Independence

or "limb independence" is a term commonly used by drummers. Drummers use 4 limbs when they play. The left foot on the hi-hat, the right foot on the bass drum, hands on snare, toms, and cymbals. Oh, and let us not forget COWBELL!

This morning I was trying to play the most famous Vince Guiraldi piano song, Linus and Lucy. My right hand is expected to play a rhythm completely different from the left hand rhythm. I have been trying to play it for a few years now and, each time I sit down to it, I give up in about 5 minutes. This morning I got a little bit closer. Close enough that I'm finally inspired to truly learn the thing.

Carlos popped his head in and explained that this is what he'd meant last night when he talked about learning more "independence" on his congas. He can sing. He can play congas. But he has a hell of a time doing them at the same time. We may need his voice in the Six of One band because it looks like it might be awhile before Mike fully recovers from his stroke. But it's a real feat.

Anyway, after a few more tries on Linus and Lucy, I started thinking about how single-minded I am about school and other big things going on in my life. With school, I feel like I've been holding my breath for an entire year. Unable to really plug into anything else. It's not that I don't have the time (the right hand is free to do what it wants, the left is busy in school), I just can't seem to do two things at once.

When school ends in 3 weeks, I suppose I will no longer have this excuse. This is mostly wonderful. But also a little bit scary.

So, about school.... there have been all kinds of niggling little odds and ends to wrap up before graduation. Hours to be made up. A couple classes to be made up. Another couple exams. And for the last 5 weeks, classes all day Saturday and Sunday. I don't know how on earth I finished college while working full time. That was only a year ago, but I cannot even imagine it now. It has something to do with also being plugged into family life with Carlos and Noah.

There are people in my class who work full time and have kids at home. Good god, I can't even imagine being able to spread myself so thin. I ask them how they do it. They say, "you just do it."

I will be VERY happy when school is done. I have my space completely set up now. I have a massage chair I can take to offices. I have a heated fleece for my table. I have a hot stone massage mostly set up. I have a luxurious foot soak system set up.

How wonderful it will be to sink into that "moving meditation" as a means of making a living.

I plan on doing 2 or 3 massages a day, scheduling them between 1 and 5 p.m. The a.m. hours are mine - mostly to be spent at the gym.

I'm no longer guessing at whether or not I'm going through menopause. I've missed the last two months. Oh, it's not THAT great. I still had cramps, mood swings and weight gain. I just didn't have any, um, leaks. If you add to that scenario a few months ago I had a "spotty" period that lasted an entire month. And before that, about 6 months worth of extremely painful and "productive" periods. On talking to the doctor, it is confirmed. I AM OLD!!!!!!

How did this happen??!!

Five years ago I was drinking and partying all the time. I felt like I would never "grow up," in spite of vaguely wanting to. Now, in a mere half decade, I went from child to middle aged. It feels like I skipped the whole adult thing and just went to old. I keep having to remind myself I'm only 44, which means given my genetic history, I'm not even halfway done. I have a whole 'nother 44 years at LEAST! Whewwwww!

Forty-some years to do: art, music, hiking, skiing, cooking, gardening, ethnobotany, cultural anthropology, comparitive religion/mythology, my life's work as a massage therapist, volunteer work with geriatrics and hospice care, watch Noah grow into an adult, grow old with Carlos. I will have time to finally commit to my relationships outside of family, maybe finally develop some nice strong friendships with a few women.

Carlos is very slowly transitioning into retirement. He comes home at 2 now and works at home during the afternoons. His employees will have paid off his loan to them (to buy the company... it's becoming employee-owned) in 3 years, at the end of which he will be completely done with it. So, he too is considering what he'll do with his free time. And how to plug himself into some meaningful work that doesn't consume his whole life.

We just joined the Puget Sound Mycology Society, so are looking forward to learning about edibles (maybe even some psychogenics ; ) Their annual mushroom conference is coming up in October.

The day before yesterday, we picked a bunch more Shaggy Lepiota. They are DELICIOUS. I like them as well as Chanterelles.

On another subject.... we are gearing up for a week-long trip to southwest Utah to do some slot-canyon hiking. We found some beautiful trails we can do in the limited time we'll be there. I can't wait. We'll be dipping into the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon and Zion. Possibly a little bit of Escalante. It's a beautiful area and I've been wanting for a long time now to see, be in, a slot canyon. So it'll be a bit of a dream come true.

All for now. I have this weekend off. YESSSSSS. Carlos, Noah and I are going to the gym. I need to get back into shape. I feel like a slug.